Waking up to dread almost every morning. With people and activities to look forward to, still I wake up to dread. Like this rocky shore, I know I will traverse it. But I must go through the dread first. In the beginning, the emotion was disbelief, followed by...
Spring is here and I have very mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I am grateful for an end to gray days when I don’t even want to get out of bed. The tables and chairs are out in the garden again and it’s a source of extreme sadness to me. One of...
When I speak, I often say, “Prepare to die by preparing to live.” And someone in the audience ALWAYS says, “Say that again.” But I mean something different than you might think. Because I know, better than many people, that sometimes time runs...
Grief brain is real. As real as cancer brain or baby brain. As a caregiver, I tracked medications, appointments, side effects and everything that did not have to do with those urgent activities got shoved out of my brain. Weeks could go by, either in a flash or...
Grey day, Perhaps rain, perhaps snow. My inner landscape matches my outer landscape perfectly. Confusing, right, Days like these, depression comes easy. And my husband’s drugs in the fridge and closet call loudly to me. I do not succumb. But I want to,...
