Don’t apologize that your loss is ‘less’ than mine. If it’s a parting of the ways, not a death. If it’s a beloved pet, not a person. If it’s not a person or a pet but a business or a home.
Many times, friends who have gotten divorced expressed their grief, anger, resentment, shame, whatever and then backed off with, “It doesn’t compare to losing your husband.” Nope. And so what?! Your experience is equally as valid and heartbreaking as mine, for you. And I honor you for it.
I ask you not to measure yourself against me or anyone. You are unique in all the world and so am I. This idea of measuring grief and loss, permitting or not permitting ourselves to feel what we feel burns me up. Assumptions, ugh.
I met a comedian outside a bar with Makenna and was talking about BadWidow. He looked at my 4th finger, left hand and said, “Where’s your ring?” I showed him our rings on the chain around my neck and he relaxed. Truthfully, it irked me.
Just over 8 months since Dave died, why does a random stranger have ANY say in whether or not I wear wedding rings? But I pulled them out as evidence super quick. Evidence of what? My love for David Beynon Pena? The guy was not even a friend! Nuts.
Rant over… for now. Nuff said.