Welcome To Bad Widow

Welcome to the Bad Widow website, your home for airing messy feelings, having bold conversations, selflessly prioritizing your own self-care and tackling painful, practical challenges you never imagined having to cope with. Prepare for irreverent humor, uncomfortable conversations and raw truth. Just remember, no matter what your circumstances, you are not broken. The only way out is through. I can show you the way.

As human beings, we ALL know loss intimately. Whether you lost a loved one, got a divorce or lost your business, career, health, money or home, loss is loss. Any transitional event is a loss. It’s the death of a future imagined or co-created which will never come to pass.

After my husband, David, died of pancreatic cancer in my arms in 2016, I was a widow, swamped in grief, afraid of my future alone, angry at my dead husband and barely able to function. To take back my life, I had to remember that, despite my loss, I was still whole, a resilient and resourceful person. Tapping into my internal fortitude enabled me to make better choices and take more effective action from that moment on.

I invite you to remember who you are at heart, no matter what your circumstances. It’s your turn to choose.


Are you ready to reclaim your capacity to be resilient and resourceful again after your loss?

Book your complimentary 20-minute

Bad Widow resilience coaching call now

Get time-tested support navigating your transition or loss.
Learn to re-engage, reinvent and rebuild life on your own terms.  
Bad Widow Blog
Swimming the Narrows – Maine poem 1

Swimming the Narrows – Maine poem 1

Swimming the Narrows Lifejackets on the dock until age 13 unless you swam the Leadbetter Narrows there and back, 40-degree water, strong tides small heads bobbing, pausing, swimming on and on imagining sand sharks, nibbling toes Ten cousins on a summer island boys vs....

Six Poems Since January 2017

Listening to Waves Listening to waves, the moon calls me and the blood of my womb answers, Although I no longer bleed. Emotions surge, drift, toss. Lifting small creatures from the sea floor, Snails, sea urchins, seaweed, sea slugs. No choice, taken, seized, only to...

The 2nd Year Still Sucks As I Move On

I had the idea that my life would be easier once I got through my 1st year without David. So I toughed it out through the summer where there were no specific landmark days but I couldn't go to Maine because there were a million memories of him painting, of laughing...

Why choose to call myself Bad Widow?

Down by the East River, Blown by the Wind I am often asked why I chose to call myself bad widow. It's astonishing to me how often people vehemently object to it. And even tell me that bad widow will have consequences, even lead to misunderstandings which could harm...

Navigating the many layers of loss

A loss like mine has many layers, not all of them obvious. I was married to David Beynon Pena for almost twenty years, nearly half my life. I lost my beloved husband to terminal cancer after fighting for his life for eleven months. Cancer is everywhere. ONE - The...

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