Welcome To BadWidow

Welcome to the BadWidow website, your home for airing messy feelings, having bold conversations, selflessly prioritizing your own self-care and tackling painful, practical challenges you never imagined having to cope with. Prepare for irreverent humor, uncomfortable conversations and raw truth. Just remember, no matter what your circumstances, you are not broken. The only way out is through.

As human beings, we ALL know loss intimately. Whether you lost a loved one, got a divorce or lost your business, career, health, money or home, loss is loss. It’s the death of a future imagined or co-created which will never come to pass. Stop apologizing that yours is less painful and important than mine. Your loss is real and you have a right to grieve it. For as long as you need to, unapologetically and without judgement. 

Are you ready to reclaim your capacity to be resilient and resourceful again after your loss?

Sign up for email updates and early notice for an upcoming virtual workshop about How to Reclaim Stability and Resourcefulness in Uncertain Times.
Schedule your complimentary 20-minute Resilience Breakthrough call to find out how I can support you one-on-one with specific challenges.

BadWidow Blog

The 2nd Year Still Sucks As I Move On

I had the idea that my life would be easier once I got through my 1st year without David. So I toughed it out through the summer where there were no specific landmark days but I couldn't go to Maine because there were a million memories of him painting, of laughing...

Why choose to call myself Bad Widow?

Down by the East River, Blown by the Wind I am often asked why I chose to call myself bad widow. It's astonishing to me how often people vehemently object to it. And even tell me that bad widow will have consequences, even lead to misunderstandings which could harm...

Navigating the many layers of loss

A loss like mine has many layers, not all of them obvious. I was married to David Beynon Pena for almost twenty years, nearly half my life. I lost my beloved husband to terminal cancer after fighting for his life for eleven months. Cancer is everywhere. ONE - The...

Waking Up to Dread

Waking up to dread almost every morning. With people and activities to look forward to, still I wake up to dread. Like this rocky shore, I know I will traverse it. But I must go through the dread first. In the beginning, the emotion was disbelief, followed by...

Loss When They Live

Living on the razor's edge of life and death, my living on without him, his dying in my arms on September 10, 2016, for eleven months was exhausting. And enlivening. It focused our priorities in a newly urgent way. We said, "I love you," multiple times every day...

Stop Apologizing to Me

Don't apologize that your loss is 'less' than mine. If it's a parting of the ways, not a death. If it's a beloved pet, not a person. If it's not a person or a pet but a business or a home. Many times, friends who have gotten divorced expressed their grief, anger,...

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