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Vulnerability Day 19

#30daysofvulnerability2017 #cancercaregiver #badwidow #day19
Today, I went to participate in a group new moon ritual with Kathy Hamer and her Tibetan singing bowls in the morning. AMAZING!

In the afternoon, Kiana Love came to the studio to do a space clearing. I have complicated feelings about the studio. It was David Beynon Pena‘s studio and, with every move I make, it looks less like he kept it. Push/pull of love. To get any traction on everything I must do, I need to own it. Not as a betrayal of Dave but as an honoring of him and his legacy.

I brought some of my crystals down and made a beautiful, sacred space in the studio. The studio feels so much happier to me now. David Beynon Pena would be perplexed. Except clearing the space is working and will make the assessing, sorting, clearing and selling much easier.

I worry I will be judged for such an eccentric act. I fear I won’t be taken seriously. Dave would not have done that. He wouldn’t mind me doing a space clearing but not his thing. Dave loved going to vibroacoustics! I am conflicted. Somehow, I must trust myself above all. Somehow.