A friend reminded me today that the reason I may be struggling to get traction is that I’m still grieving. Oh yeah, I keep trying to forget that. Next week is seven months since Dave passed away. There is a real push/pull, friction/flow between harkening back to what I have lost, the life I dreamed we would have together, and desiring to move forward into future adventures, love, business, connections. Truthfully, this passage is confusing, which is why I am charting my journey from inside it as a guide for you, if you are like me. This poetry challenge has been super challenging because I want to be ‘good’ and some days, I don’t have it all together. Sharing from there is even more powerful! So here goes…
Radio silence with not much and too much to say,
worrying about money, home, love, business, art,
moving in fast spurts, slow spurts, no spurts of energy,
a million ideas and, sometimes, only grief in my head and heart.
Here in the south of France, sitting next to a Buddha and wooden shoes,
life is good, life is tough, life goes on.
Tears crawling salty down my face when I wake up, alive,
ready to create my path again, I fall, I soar in the same day.
And maybe you do too.