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These hands are mine and Dave’s, siting in the garden, having our morning unhealthy treat, coffee and a Boston Cream donut. Memories…

Asking for support is tough. It can even be embarrassing because we are accustomed to thinking we can do it all alone, the Superman/Superwoman syndrome. As a caregiver, I was so overextended and exhausted that I had no choice. Some days I was not sure what to ask for because my brain was on the fritz and and I had (still have) the attention span of a fruit fly! I discover if my asking was unclear, I got random or undesirable results. I still go out with my caregiver friends for dinner and drinks every few weeks.

As a widow, I also have a difficult time facing certain things – dealing with 13 tennis racquets, 3 squash racquets, 27 pairs of vintage glasses, 36 hats, 150 ties, 1000+ paintings, watercolors and drawings, etc. So, my friends who are also bereaved are taking action together. We are asking for help with those closure actions which are sad and triggering for us. Because it’s easier with friends.

I don’t know how it is for my friends but it made me feel empowered to help someone else with their challenging situation, knowing I can ask for help with mine later. Grateful to love and be loved today. Just ask.