#30daysofbrave2017 #badwidow #first step

The smallest act can be brave. I wake up every morning and look out at the sky, and, on a bad day, try to to think of one reason to get out of bed. Just one. Those days, if I didn’t have to get up to pee, I might just stay under the covers. All day.

Other days, I have plans with friends to share dim sum. I am eager to take a walk under the crisp, clear spring sky. I have a million creative ideas to forward my business. Or I’m scheduled to cheer on a nephew or niece at their track meet for all of the 20 seconds they are visible on the track. Easy.

But life goes on. That’s what everybody tells me. “Now you can move on.”

And for them, it’s true. For me too. Except the life I imagined with Dave, growing old together, won’t. The life I am moving on with lacks his presence in it. Missing David leaves a gaping hole of love, longing and loss so deep that, on bad days, my bravest act is to take the second step.

Once you get out of bed, what’s yours?