Waking Up to Dread

Waking up to dread almost every morning. With people and activities to look forward to, still I wake up to dread. Like this rocky shore, I know I will traverse it. But I must go through the dread first. In the beginning, the emotion was disbelief, followed by...

Loss When They Live

Living on the razor's edge of life and death, my living on without him, his dying in my arms on September 10, 2016, for eleven months was exhausting. And enlivening. It focused our priorities in a newly urgent way. We said, "I love you," multiple times every day...

Stop Apologizing to Me

Don't apologize that your loss is 'less' than mine. If it's a parting of the ways, not a death. If it's a beloved pet, not a person. If it's not a person or a pet but a business or a home. Many times, friends who have gotten divorced expressed their grief, anger,...

FB 30 Days of Poetry Day 5 – there is a crack

I was just watching my brother's group, The Conspiracy of Beards sing one of Leonard Cohen's songs on Facebook and one of the lines in it caught my attention. I had forgotten or was intentionally ignoring this fact because, if I acknowledge this reality, I hurt to...

FB 30 Days of Poetry Day 4 – radio silence

A friend reminded me today that the reason I may be struggling to get traction is that I'm still grieving. Oh yeah, I keep trying to forget that. Next week is seven months since Dave passed away. There is a real push/pull, friction/flow between harkening back to what...

FB 30 Days of Poetry Day 2 – passion eludes me

By my nature, I am eager to live, which includes grieving David's loss wholeheartedly too. We give greater weight to the 'good' stuff, the easy stuff in our relationships. Even though we had an epic love affair, there were lots of ups and downs, and those are part of...

FB 30 Days of Poetry Day 1 – a birthday poem

Yesterday was my birthday, a heartbreaking day, a good day, the days are confusing as I am wracked and roiled by my emotions. I go on, day after day, the days when I struggle to get of bed and the days when I run to write my words or create offers to heal the heart,...