Stack Your Odds for Success: 3 simple steps to make your New Year’s resolutions come true
The beginning of a new year is a chance to start over. Many of us create New Year's resolutions but, according to a commonly quoted statistic, 80% of us fail at them by the end of February. Only 8% make it to the end of the year. According to Getty, these were the top...
Six Poems Since January 2017
Listening to Waves Listening to waves, the moon calls me and the blood of my womb answers, Although I no longer bleed. Emotions surge, drift, toss. Lifting small creatures from the sea floor, Snails, sea urchins, seaweed, sea slugs. No choice, taken, seized, only to...
The 2nd Year Still Sucks As I Move On
I had the idea that my life would be easier once I got through my 1st year without David. So I toughed it out through the summer where there were no specific landmark days but I couldn't go to Maine because there were a million memories of him painting, of laughing...
Why choose to call myself Bad Widow?
Down by the East River, Blown by the Wind I am often asked why I chose to call myself bad widow. It's astonishing to me how often people vehemently object to it. And even tell me that bad widow will have consequences, even lead to misunderstandings which could harm...
Navigating the many layers of loss
A loss like mine has many layers, not all of them obvious. I was married to David Beynon Pena for almost twenty years, nearly half my life. I lost my beloved husband to terminal cancer after fighting for his life for eleven months. Cancer is everywhere. ONE - The...
Waking Up to Dread
Waking up to dread almost every morning. With people and activities to look forward to, still I wake up to dread. Like this rocky shore, I know I will traverse it. But I must go through the dread first. In the beginning, the emotion was disbelief, followed by...
Loss When They Live
Living on the razor's edge of life and death, my living on without him, his dying in my arms on September 10, 2016, for eleven months was exhausting. And enlivening. It focused our priorities in a newly urgent way. We said, "I love you," multiple times every day...
Stop Apologizing to Me
Don't apologize that your loss is 'less' than mine. If it's a parting of the ways, not a death. If it's a beloved pet, not a person. If it's not a person or a pet but a business or a home. Many times, friends who have gotten divorced expressed their grief, anger,...
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