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#30daysofvulnerability2017 #badwidow #cancercaregiver #day3
Vulnerability Day 3: I think about making jello. I want to make jello. There’s plenty of jello in the cupboards. And, so far, I just can’t.

David LOVED jello so much. It was a deeply felt comfort food for him. Once, when he was unable to eat because his abdomen hurt so much when he did, he ate jello for 3 weeks and lost 20 pounds. I was so angry. I told him jello was not a food group. He said it was good for his bones, nails and hair so actually it was.

When I asked him if he would like me to make jello, he would say, “Jello,” in this voice I can’t describe but can hear in my ears. It was so silly, it made me laugh. So now I can’t bring myself to make it.
Because sometimes jello is not just jello.

Grief is a funny thing. It’s not always hearing a song or studying one of his paintings or smelling his hat. Sometimes it’s jello.

Vulnerability Day 3: What is your memory of jello which keeps you from taking an action you desire to take?