3 Ninja Secrets to Ask For and Get More Yeses
How you ask determines whether or not the answer to your request will be ‘Yes’. Asking like a ninja can be scary because it requires not settling for less than everything you truly want. It’s an ‘all-in’ inside game with ‘go for it full-tilt boogie’ strategies. Stack the deck today for better results in 2021 and beyond.
Secret 1: Clarity
- Start from solid ground. My clients begin with a baseline assessment of their level of satisfaction in 5 areas: business, finances, health, relationships and time. This tells us where to start to create the biggest positive impact and how to eliminate the greatest threats to thriving
- Know who you are now. Any loss, whether death of a loved one, breakdown in a relationship, being downsized from a job, losing a business, or health challenges, sharpens focus on what matters most and changes us irrevocably. It strips away woulda, coulda, shoulda to reveal the underlying values which drive us
- Know what specific result you want. The clearer you are about what you truly desire, the easier it is to get it. People fail to get what they ask for because the request is 1) too small (just enough money to pay the rent) or too vague (world peace). It needs to be big enough to make your heart sing, with specific steps to get there (or even just the first step to get started)
Secret 2: Communication
- First, remember that you are not broken. No matter what your circumstances, you are a resilient and resourceful person. This takes the victim tone out of the ask and makes your request more likely to be answered. It also encourages ninja asking because the answer is, ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ doesn’t matter. It won’t shape future outcomes, define your worth or be a measure of the value of your products and services to your customers
- Ask so clearly that the person you ask can’t get it wrong. What I learned after my husband died and I lost all the ways he supported me and had my back, is that nobody likes to let a widow down. I discovered that asking clearly and specifically made it possible for that person to deliver and be a superhero. Making the real request, the one which changes everything, instead of settling for a ‘bare bones’ needs ask gets better results
- Ask the right person who can provide what you are asking for without too much stress or sacrifice. It can be financial help, a listening ear, a resource, a referral, or just someone to participate in an activity like going for a walk, brainstorming a business idea, taking a class or being an accountability partner
Secret 3: Community
- Make an assessment of your existing personal and professional networks. I ask my client to take this 2021 Satisfaction Assessment Survey when we start working together. Especially after experiencing a loss, look at what support your networks do and don’t provide for you. This allows you to identify any gaps between the resources you have and the ones you need to accomplish your goals
- What are your goals to realize exceptional results in business, relationships, health, lifestyle and legacy? Think now and in the future – short-term, medium-term and long-term desired outcomes. Do you have people in your community who can, without sacrificing their wellbeing, help you make those goals happen?
- Nurture your existing networks and close the gaps to reaching your desired lifestyle and legacy by adding to your networks by design. Participate with and contribute within your chosen communities. Match people to goals. Make sure that you have more than one person who could support you with any ask. End scarcity thinking and too many Nos. Remember that you are a resilient and resourceful person, no matter what your history or current situation.
What’s Your Next Ninja Ask?
Ninja requests are about asking fearlessly because life is short. Why settle for less than all? As primary caregiver after my husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer and, as his widow, after he died in my arms in 2016, I had to ask for everything because I needed so much. It was incredibly uncomfortable for me to need that much help to survive. I wanted more, to thrive fully again. As a consultant, I deconstruct breakdowns and create customized solutions to answer them for my clients.
Longing for a bigger life and taking action to ask for it is the first step to getting one. It starts with the 3 Secrets to Asking Like a Ninja. Schedule a call with me for yours.