Welcome To BadWidow

Welcome to BadWidow, your home for airing messy feelings, having bold conversations, selflessly prioritizing your own self-care and tackling painful, practical challenges you never imagined having to cope with.

As human beings, we ALL know loss intimately. And loss is loss, whether you are a cancer caregiver whose beloved died, like me, or you had a bad breakup, separation or divorce, or you lost your business, career, money or home. Death is the final loss but all these others are a kind of death too. Even if you chose to leave (which we often call ‘failure’). Loss is an ending with a person or of a future you imagined, invested in and believed in with all your heart. Of who YOU were with that person or in that situation, that you who is gone, too. 

You may already be a caregiver or you will be in the future. If so, your relationship to that person you care for is forever changed, whether they live or die. You will someday suffer the loss of someone you love, whether it’s a parent, child, relative, spouse, partner, or friend. From illness, disease, accident, aging or even by choice, our losses WILL come and shove our own humanity and mortality in our faces. Nobody gets out alive. 

Loss is loss. Stop apologizing that yours is less painful and important than mine. Your loss is also real and you have a right to grieve it. For as long as you need to, unapologetically and without judgement. I can lead you to live powerfully and peacefully with yours. And come through to the other side, more fully alive and wholly yourself. 

You are in the right place if,

  •  you are grieving as a caregiver or you are bereaved, 
  • you have lost someone you love in a breakup, separation or divorce, no matter how ‘friendly’
  • you have lost your business, career, money or home

 

You are in the right place if you are seeking solutions for,

  • how to lose, rediscover and reinvent yourself through the crucible of your losses
  • how to allow all your feelings to be expressed, without suppressing or indulging them
  • how to navigate exhaustion, loneliness, judgement, misunderstandings and forgiving yourself and others more peacefully
  • how to engage in love, life and work fearlessly from wherever you are for success, on your own terms
  • how to clarify your desires so you can ask for (and receive) what you need to thrive
  • how to design a community of people who support you truly by culling, cherry-picking and adding personal and professional relationships, strategically

 
Prepare for irreverent humor, uncomfortable conversations and raw truth. Get ready for rich resources for healing your bruised hearts and practical solutions to address the bewildering, unpredictable and painful challenges your loss will thrust upon you and the heart-opening wholeness on the other side.The only way out is through.
 
I’ll go first.

1-ON-1 CONSULTING AND SPEAKING

Schedule a complimentary 20-minute call with me and discover how I can support you personally with your specific challenges after suffering a loss. Ask about the 3-month 3 Pillars to Affluence consulting program.

Book me to speak to your group or at your event about how to navigate your losses more peacefully and powerfully.

BadWidow Wit & Wisdom

Why choose to call myself Bad Widow?

Down by the East River, Blown by the Wind I am often asked why I chose to call myself bad widow. It's astonishing to me how often people vehemently object to it. And even tell me that bad widow will have consequences, even lead to misunderstandings which could harm...

Navigating the many layers of loss

A loss like mine has many layers, not all of them obvious. I was married to David Beynon Pena for almost twenty years, nearly half my life. I lost my beloved husband to terminal cancer after fighting for his life for eleven months. Cancer is everywhere. ONE - The...

Waking Up to Dread

Waking up to dread almost every morning. With people and activities to look forward to, still I wake up to dread. Like this rocky shore, I know I will traverse it. But I must go through the dread first. In the beginning, the emotion was disbelief, followed by...

Loss When They Live

Living on the razor's edge of life and death, my living on without him, his dying in my arms on September 10, 2016, for eleven months was exhausting. And enlivening. It focused our priorities in a newly urgent way. We said, "I love you," multiple times every day...

Stop Apologizing to Me

Don't apologize that your loss is 'less' than mine. If it's a parting of the ways, not a death. If it's a beloved pet, not a person. If it's not a person or a pet but a business or a home. Many times, friends who have gotten divorced expressed their grief, anger,...

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